 Listen to the entire program (53:00)
(How to listen to Real Audio)
 Rabbi Elliot Dorff is an author and Sol and Anne Dorff Professor of Philosophy at the University of Judaism in Bel-Air, California. |
 |
 Dr. Luke Timothy Johnson is R.W. Woodruff Professor of New Testament and Christian Origins in the Candler School of Theology at Emory University. |
The institution of marriage is, at best, in flux and, at worst, in crisis. In the last three decades, the percentage of adults who chose never to marry has risen. Nearly half of recent marriages are ending in divorce. Religious leaders and ethicists, like many of us, are posing deep and abiding questions about the meaning of fidelity, forgiveness, and love in our time.
Our American culture's moral sensibility about love, marriage, and family is infused, at least implicitly, with Jewish and Christian biblical messages. In the first of two shows about marriage, Speaking of Faith discusses the influence of scripture and religious culture on married life, on divorce, and on "non-traditional" family structures including homosexual partnerships.
|
*Times denoted refer to web version of audio
|
| (02:22) |
Reading from Genesis 2
The following extended version of the reading in the program was taken from Tanakh: The Holy Scriptures, chapter 2, verses 18 through 24:
The Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a fitting helper for him." And the Lord God formed out of the earth all the wild beasts and all the birds of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that would be its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to all the wild beasts; but for Adam no fitting helper was found. So the Lord God cast a deep sleep upon the man; and, while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that spot. And the Lord God fashioned the rib that He had taken from the man into a woman; and He brought her to the man. Then the man said,
"This one at last
Is bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh.
This one shall be called Woman,
For from man was she taken."
Hence a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh.
|
|
| (04:42) |
Reading from Genesis 1
The following extended version of the reading in the program was taken from Tanakh: The Holy Scriptures, chapter 1, verses 24 through 31:
God said, "Let the earth bring forth every kind of living creature: cattle, creeping things, and wild beasts of every kind." And it was so. God made wild beasts of every kind and cattle of every kind, and all kinds of creeping things of the earth. And God saw that this was good. And God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. They shall rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the cattle, the whole earth, and all the creeping things that creep on earth." And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them and God said to them, "Be fertile and increase, fill the earth and master it; and rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and all the living things that creep on earth."
God said, "See, I give you every seed-bearing plant that is upon all the earth, and every tree that has seed-bearing fruit; they shall be yours for food. And to all the animals on land, to all the birds of the sky, and to everything that creeps on earth, in which there is the breath of life, [I give] all the green plants for food." And it was so. And God saw all that He had made, and found it very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. |
|
| (05:37) |
Energies of the Body
Rabbi Dorff states that in Jewish tradition the body, the emotions, and the will are morally neutral. Hence, desires of the body — such as food and sex — should be channeled for good purpose, as defined by the Torah: the desire for food serves the purpose of respecting God's creation and is channeled through kashrut, Jewish dietary laws, and the desire for sex is procreation (see the first chapter of Genesis) and companionship (see the second chapter of Genesis). |
|
| (07:19) |
Reference to Exodus
 |
Wedding, 1918 by Marc Chagall
Courtesy: The Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow |
Krista remarks that the first chapter of Genesis treats both genders equally and emphasizes procreation, while the second and third chapters of Genesis emphasize companionship. In response, Rabbi Dorff says the Jewish tradition recognizes the importance of sexual desires of both women and men from the tradition's beginning. Dorff illustrates this by citing a passage from the twenty-first chapter of Exodus, where the Torah commands a wife's food, clothing, and conjugal rights may not be diminished:
When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she shall not be freed as male slaves are. If she proves to be displeasing to her master, who designated her for himself, he must let her be redeemed; he shall not have the right to sell her to outsiders, since he broke faith with her. And if he designated her for his son, he shall deal with her as is the practice with free maidens. If he marries another, he must not withhold from this one her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights. If he fails her in these three ways, she shall go free, without payment. |
|
| (09:12) |
Reference to Sabbath in Judaism
Sabbath laws dictate that a person may not work from 18 minutes before sunset on Friday to 40 minutes after sunset on Saturday. In the Seder Mo'ed of the Talmud, the Tractate Shabbath, the second longest Tractate of the Talmud, deals with the laws and regulations to be observed on the sabbath. |
|
| (11:49) |
Marriage Preparation Courses
Rabbi Dorff describes a program for marriage preparation that resulted in a divorce rate of eight percent for participating couples—far below the national average. Sponsored by the University of Judaism in Los Angeles, California, the Making Marriage Work Seminars offers four series of classes for recently engaged couples, interfaith relationships, existing marriages, and couples with children from a previous relationship. |
|
| (13:16) |
Broadway Musical Analogies
Rabbi Dorff illustrates the differences between two approaches to love, romance, and marriage by citing two songs from popular Broadway musicals. The more "traditional" approach, in which romantic love develops over time and through struggle, is exemplified by the song "Do You Love Me?" from Fiddler on the Roof. The more modern — and for many, perhaps unrealistic — approach is heard in "Some Enchanted Evening," from South Pacific. Here, a would-be lover hopes to "meet a stranger" and fall in love instantly, as if hit by a lightning bolt, and stay in love forever. Take a listen to each and compare:
|
|
| (15:44) |
Reference to Love Poetry and Companionship
When describing the biblical book, The Song of Songs, as love poetry that is graphic in its reading of sexual desires, Rabbi Dorff makes reference to Rebbe Akiva, also known as Rabbi Akiba ben Joseph. Living between 50-135 C.E., the great Jewish scholar was a shepherd who developed the exegetical method of the Mishnah, linking each traditional practice to a basis in the biblical text.
The Hebrew phrase meaning "the loving companions" that Dorff mentions is "rei'im ha-ahuvim." |
|
| (16:42) |
Definition of Helpmeet
In the second chapter of Genesis, verse 18, the Hebrew term "ezer knegdo" was incorrectly translated in the King James version of the Bible as one word "helpmeet," and later changed to "helpmate." In his commentary, Rashi, a revered Jewish scholar from the Middle Ages, writes that the phrase "a help meet for him" — literally, "opposite, opposed to him" — means "If he is worthy she shall be a help to him; if he is unworthy she shall be opposed to him, to fight him." |
|
| (18:03) |
Duties of Marriage
Dorff says the Talmud spells out the duties of a man to his wife and a wife to her husband. The seven tractates of the Seder Nashim — meaning "Women" and sometimes named "Hosen," or "Strength" — prescribes regulations for husbands and wives that address marriage, divorce, and the position of women within Jewish society. |
|
| (19:46) |
American Laws on Divorce
Dorff recalls that until the 1970's in America, except in Nevada, one had to prove his or her partner committed adultery or was insane in order to be granted a divorce. Read concise synopses of the aspects of divorce as it relates to the world and, in more detail, with regard to the history of divorce laws in New York, to which Governor Nelson Rockefeller was subject.
Also, an essay by Christopher Lasch, "Divorce and the Family in America," was published in the November 1966 issue of The Atlantic Monthly. In it, Lasch addresses some of the concerns of an increasing divorce rate and the breakdown of morality in contemporary culture and compares it to similar thoughts occurring in Victorian times with the progression of marriage and divorce.
|
|
| (21:15) |
Ritual of Jewish Divorce
When a couple divorces, a rabbi will write a document specifically tailored to that couple. As Dorff says, a ritual is involved where the husband hands the divorce documents to his wife and she takes several steps away from him to signify they are leaving each other and the marriage has ended. |
|
| (31:10) |
Reading from New Testament
Johnson says that the New Testament sends conflicting messages about sex, marriage, and family. On the one hand, the apostle Paul's letters to Christian communities affirm the family and put people in good steed in the eyes of God. On the other hand, Jesus tells his disciples that one must abandon their families in order to find salvation, as in the following passage from the gospel of Matthew (chapter 10, verses 32 through 40 of the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible):
"Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.
Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one's foes will be members of one's own household.
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me." |
|
| (33:09) |
Talk at Local Parish
Asked by a local parish to talk about the state of the family and marriage in the New Testament, Johnson submitted the talk "God Doesn't Like Families," which was changed to "Godlike Families" by the administrators. |
|
| (37:22) |
Types of Love
Krista and Johnson discuss three kinds of love: agape, eros, and filia. For an interesting perspective, read the Christian writer/philosopher C.S. Lewis famous work on the nature of love, The Four Loves.
Agape is a Greek word that connotes a practical, self-sacrificing type of love. Often found in the New Testament of the Bible, early Christians refer to agapic love as a special love for God and God's love for man.
Eros is a Greek word that refers to a physical, sexual, or romantic type of love.
Filia is a Latin word derived from the Greek phileo. Filia refers to friendship, the platonic love between family and friends. |
|
| (39:24) |
Quote by Saint-Xupéry
Johnson quotes the French author and aviator Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, whose plane wreckage was found in April of 2004, when he says, "Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." |
|
| (41:01) |
Reading from New Testament
Dr. Johnson mentions that Paul's first letter to the Corinthians is better known for him saying it's better to marry than burn:
But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
But, Johnson says, a deeper reading of the entire passage about sexuality and marriage is quite remarkable for its gender equality. Read the complete version of 1 Corinthians, chapter 7 on the next page, of which the following reading was taken from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible:
For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. And then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. |
|
| (44:29) |
Reading from New Testament
Johnson states that the Church has been using the issue of homosexuality as a scapegoat instead of engaging in discussions about serious issues of sexuality and taking a stand against porneia, sexual sin. If the Church is going to adhere to Jesus' teachings in the New Testament, Johnson says, it needs to give equal weight to issues such as divorce, which Jesus forbids in his teachings:
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he cured them there.
Some Pharisees came to him, and to test him they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" He answered, "Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning "made them male and female,' and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
They said to him, "Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?" He said to them, "It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery."
His disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."
…Matthew 19:1-12 of the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible |
Women, Marriage, and Religion: A Speaking of Faith program that explores the rights and concerns of women in marriage and family in contemporary society. Krista speaks with three religious feminists: Rebecca Chopp, President of Colgate University; Mary Stewart van Leeuwen, an Evangelical scholar; and Kecia Ali, who directed the Islam section of the Feminist Sexual Ethics Project at Brandeis University.
1966 Article from The Atlantic Monthly: An essay by Christopher Lasch, "Divorce and the Family in America," in which the author addresses some of the concerns of an increasing divorce rate and the breakdown of morality in contemporary culture and compares it to similar thoughts occurring in Victorian times with the progression of marriage and divorce.
Center for the Interdisciplinary Study of Religion: Sponsors projects at the Emory University School of Law in Atlanta that explore the influence of religious traditions on law, politics, society, and culture. Includes the project "Sex, Marriage and Family and the Religions of the Book," which summons knowledge from the Islamic, Jewish, and Christian perspectives.
"Sex, Marriage, Family, & Religion": Emory Magazine features an article on interfaith marriage, exploring the idea that such unions can help us appreciate the wider implications of religious understanding between groups.
Making Marriage Work Seminars: Claiming a divorce rate of eight percent, the University of Judaism offers four series of classes for recently engaged couples, interfaith relationships, existing marriages, and couples with children from a previous relationship.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Listen to "Do You Love Me?"
Listen to "Some Enchanted Evening"
To Do the Right and the Good: A Jewish Approach to Modern Social Ethics
Matters of Life and Death: A Jewish Approach to Modern Medical Ethics
Love Your Neighbor and Yourself: A Jewish Approach to Modern Personal Ethics
The Creed: What Christians Believe and Why It Matters
Living Jesus: Learning the Heart of the Gospel
The Writings of the New Testament: An Interpretation
MCA/IMPULSE!
White Arrow
Tsirkus
Monsoon Wedding Original Score
Skylarking
Tabula Rasa
Naqoyqatsi (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
Only
The Very Best of The Spinners